Tortallan Humour
by Wildofre
Summary: More Tortallan Humour. Classroom Calamities that can only happen in one place ~ Tortall!
1. Y did the Tortallan cross the road?

Q: Why did Neal cross the road?   
A: To go chase after the pretty girls on the other side!   
  
Q: Why did Lord Wyldon cross the road?   
A: To get the other side of course! To be otherwise means change and change is b-a-d!!   
  
Q: Why did Peachblossom cross the road?   
A: To go bite Neal!   
  
Q: Why did Kel cross the road?   
A: To go get Lasala! It is much to manly for Lasala to cross the road on her own, so Kel has to drag her across.   
  
Q: Why did Jump cross the road?   
A: To follow Kel who crossed the road!   
  
Q: Why did Alanna cross the road?   
A: To show that girls can cross the road as well, then later, Alanna will dance around the guys when they cross the road to show them who is boss and excel in it.   
  
Q: Why did Faithful cross the road?   
A: To get Alanna to stop dancing in the middle of the road!   
  
Q: Why did George cross the road?   
A: To join Alanna in the middle of the road to dance!   
  
Q: Why did Owen cross the road?   
A: To join the Liverpool soccer team!   
  
Q: Why did Thayet cross the road?   
A: To show her support of Alanna crossing the road.   
  
Q: Why did a group of young noble women cross the road?   
A: To follow after Thayet as they are the Queen's Ladies. What the Queen do, they do too!   
  
Q: Why did another group of young noble women cross the road?   
A: To be in fashion of course! Thayet made it the latest thing, the most "in" thing to do.   
  
Q: Why did Daine cross the road?   
A: To heal an injured animal across the road!   
  
Q: Why did Numair cross the road?   
A: He didn't, he levitated.   
  
Q: Why did Badger cross the road?   
A: To go after Daine, he has to look after his kit, you know!   
  
Q: Why did Buri cross the road?   
A: How am I supposed to know? I can't read her mind!  
  
Please review! Feedback is greatly appreciated! 


	2. Classroom Calamities

^V^ Classroom Calamities ^V^  
Identitfiable Tortallan traits that can be found in school.  
  
Written by Wildofre (Wierd but irrepressible)  
  
  
"I refuse to cut up this frog! It might be a shapeshifter stuck in his form like poor Numair when he got stuck as a hawk!" *class takes up chant* "Save Numair! Save Numair!"  
  
"School is closed today due to not snow, but in case it rains Spidrens."  
  
*teacher catches student dreaming in class* Stop that! Pay attention! Don't you know that whatever you dream of, it might result in an immortal?  
  
Art teacher : "I told you to draw a ressemblance of a cow! What is this?"  
Student : A cow.  
Art teacher : What do you mean? It is a girl!  
Student : No, it is Princess Delia, Alanna said that she ressembled like a cow.  
Teacher : Sigh. But why are there so many holes in your drawing?  
*a dart suddenly hits the centre of the picture*  
Student whips around and yell at student 2 : HEY! Would you stop that already?  
Student 2 : Princess Delia must be destoryed! For the lioness! *proceeds to throw another dart*   
  
Knight : BREAK IT UP! *two boys stop fighting* What happened?  
Boy 1 : We were arguing over who Squire Keladry is going to end up with.  
Boy 2 : Yeah, I say she would end up with Squire Cleon.  
Boy 1 : Oh yeah? It should be Squire Neal.  
*they scuffle before being broken apart by the Knight*  
Knight : Have you taken leave of your senses? Why are you fighting over such a trivial matter? A stupid one at that? *boys looked chagrined and ashamed* Besides,  
everyone knows that she is going to end up with Prince Roald.  
Boy 1 and 2 look at each other... : ATTACK!!!  
  
*An reenactment of "Alanna" picking a fight with "Ralon" in POTS time*  
"Ralon" : Why look here, it is the pine size squeak.  
"Alanna" : *Defiantly* I am ready to take you on.  
"Ralon" : Why? Are you so eager to "fall" again?  
"Alanna" : You have beggers and thieves as ancestors! You are a low bellied pig.  
"Ralon" laughs, holding his temper in check as he knows that "Jon, Gary and co" are watching : Is that the best insult you can give?  
"Alanna" : No... You, you, you are worse than a Vinson and Joren put together!  
*crowd gasps. Mother quickly slap hands on their children's ears.*  
"Ralon" : You asked for it! 


End file.
